Monday, March 2, 2009

Them Donaldsons


Since about half the people who read this blog are Donaldsons, and the other half should only hope their children marry into the clan (or well rather the Donaldsons want them to marry into the clan), I thought I would write some of the great things about being a Donaldson.

15. All Donaldson men, and in-laws, look nice in the plaid shirts they get each year at Christmas.
14. El Paso, No Nobis, Big Iron, Good King Wenceslas, and Beautiful Savior and three cheers are interchangable at all major events (major events being defined as any event with food.)
13. Spontaneous rolling up our pants to show off our "Scottish legs" to all our visitors.
12. It's not "chores" it's "child labor." It's not "the yard" its "the end of the land." You're not "spoiled" you're a "MAP" (Mormon American Princess), and the kk.
11. Bible names or names that end in e (Mary, Elle, Hyme, Amme, Abby, Maddy, Clarity, Jonny, ugly etc.)
10. Sin of sins? Letting a guest go hungry. We force feed any and everyone who comes to our home. While this might be more of a pain for those who made the mistake of eating before they came, or awkward like it was the first time Stephen came to my house after our first date and dad brought out the dessert of cottage cheese, strawberries and bananas.
9. Compost or die.
8. Seeing random people of your life without invitation show you some nasty sore, scar, or bandaid and say "this is what your dad did to me last week."
7. 5 phone calls a week from sisters checking to see if you're pregnant and tell you to stop wanting it so much and THEN you'll get pregnant (just kidding, I love you guys and will beat you up if you stop asking)
6. Threats of violence (see #7).
5. If you want to talk to someone you call from where your at instead of going to find them "RaycHEEEELLLLL"
4. Buckaroo Bonzai, We're No Angels, and Evil Roy Slade.
3. At every family get together with more than 2 boys, there are jumping contests to see who weighs the most, whose the tallest, and who can jump to hit the tallest beam in the house. This is then carried on to the next generation in the following way:
2. Monthly updates on children's height, weight, head size percentile. I don't think I remember one of the updates that did not have at least one of these in the 95% if not all three.
1. Guilt at being just about the coolest clan this side of Timpview Dr. (Cranneys excluded).

4 comments:

Mary said...

I love this. Them Donaldsons are awesome. I'm pretty proud to be part of this clan or cult or whatever it is.

Ruth said...

So true! If only we had this years ago. We could have prepared all our husbands.

love you!

Jared said...

Poor Stephen, so new to all these quirks. He'll get used to them soon enough. I should add another: #16 Not doing taxes until June EVERY STINKING YEAR!!! Argghh.

The funny thing about the random jumping contests and feats of Scottish manliness (like caber tossing and having children with stats in the 95th percentile) is that Them Donaldsons automatically assume that marry-ins (such as Mike and Jared) care as much about competing in these shenanigans as Them Donaldsons do. Then there is always that look of major disappointment when we don't get excited to try to jump up and touch the rafters (or whatever). =)

Oh, here is a #17 for the list: injuring at least one in-law at all major events (broken bones, etc).

Ah well, in the end we're all glad we belong to The Clan.

Astromom said...

Oh, Rachel you nailed it on the head. You are so cute. I'll make sure Gordon reads this, he'll think it is so funny and have to agree.