affording luxuries

When it comes to comments about stay at home mothers, it's not the Hilary Rosens that drive me nuts---it's all of us stay at home moms.

In an effort to have society take us seriously we adamantly assert how difficult and it is to be a stay at home mother. If we were really going for arduous, there are plenty of more physically intense jobs out there, but guess what, I'm not going for hard, I'm going for substance.

Most people who hear SAHMs talk will acknowledge it's sometimes rough, but being a SAHM is not gulag and we should stop talking about it like it is. The logical conclusion of most of the complaints SAHMs give is to go to work so that you can afford a maid, cook, and/or taxi driver. SAHMs haven't done near good enough job of articulating why it's worth staying at home.

I cringe every time I hear well-intentioned individuals talk about how much we'd have to pay for the services of a SAHM. Being a SAHM is not a job, career, or my employment. I've never heard anyone put a monetary value on the prophet’s services. Why not? What he does is spiritual and it belies commodification. So why do we do that with motherhood which is so much more eternal?

I'm a stay at home mom because I'd rather go without a second phone, a two bedroom apartment, or a matching furniture (and no, I’m not talking about those situations that are often used to blanket justify all the others) so that I can get Christian’s kisses of comfort when his mom starts crying while reading The Little Match Girl to him. I do it because I cherish every belly laugh of Simeon's at his big brother’s attentions. I do it because I love to watch children’s innate creativity turn the ordinary into something entirely different than I ever could have imagined, more than any wacky dream. I do it because I can’t afford to not have this luxury.

potty trained . . . kind of

For those wondering about the wonderful potty training going on, it's going good! We'll . . . as good as can be expected when your two year old is afraid of any adult size toilet and will only use his uncomfortable green mini one that he carries triumphantly in the air letting its contents swish out each side after he has used it successfully. We still have accidents now and then, but he gets the basics and I'm fine with that for right now. (He actually seemed to get the basics within the first week, however, we've had relatively little progress since then). Our method? We might have bribed him with being able to watch those 4 minutes LDS bible movies as long as he was sitting on the potty (he had been willing to sit down, but not willing to wait). We might have withheld presents of stickers from his Oma for a couple of months back to use as a prize now (from us). We might also have done (and continue to do) a celebratory dance for about 3 minutes afterwards and yes, we bothered about every relative we have with bragging phone calls. That said, we have't really pushed it and let him decide if he wanted a diaper or underpants. We also have insisted on him wearing a diaper when sleeping because I'm not up for that much laundry (the whole point of this is to make it easier on us). I think the biggest asset, however, has been wood floors as I haven't had to pretend I wasn't annoyed when he had an accident, because with wooden floors it's easier to clean an accident off the floor than to wrestle him down for a diaper change. Anyway, I haven't bought more diapers from my original declaration, but I'll probably be investing in some pull-ups soon. Ohhweee!!

Insights into illegal immigration

For those interested in the illegal immigration debate, Stephen's guest post on a Utah politics blog that his dad is authoring, whyivote.net, is a good quick read.

Tonight's dinner:

a variation from this recipe


I know Pinterest is a possible time waster, but every once in a while I think it's the best replacement for natural domestic skill out there.

earthquakes? famines? war?

I don't care; it's potty training time: my sole preoccupation. This is probably not the time (and probably won't be for a while) to skype or phone unless you want me bragging about Christian's success loud enough for him to hear, or in hushed tones grousing at how many loads of laundry we're doing. Either way we're done buying diapers for the boy.

Other info:

Yesterday I realized that Christian has started telling his first jokes. He'll point to a toy and say "Thomas?" when he knows it is Rosie and then smile from ear to ear and say "noooooo" and then laughs hysterically.

Simeon just turned six months and I'm wondering where the time went. He's chunked up significantly, such that he's grown an extra chin. He loves to gaze at Stephen and what with Stephen's shaved head they're beginning to look quite a bit like each other.

I've chosen an abandoned garden plot and am eager to get it cleared to see what I can grow. Stephen, though not a fan of gardening, supports me by coming home and watching the boys wander and daydream outside in the open area while I garden, it's pretty nice setup for the end of the day. It'll be perfect if I can actually get anything other than weeds to grow.